Big Girls Can Do It Too!

All of my life I have been over weight. I got up to an unspeakable number on the scale and in 2004 I took means to lose weight. I was able to lose 200 pounds and have kept it off to date and still counting... I am still a big girl, which now I can appreciate. I no longer feel hindered by my weight and I actually like myself! I lost weight so I would not develop more serious problems, which I am glad I did. I always thought I had to be skinny and in shape in order to enjoy life and go out and do things, such as hiking or going to amusement parks. How wrong I was! 

I met and fell in love with this amazing man. He loves the fact that I am a big girl, to him I am beautiful. He is very active and it has impacted my life. I am going to tell a little story that I hope will bring some inspiration to your life to go out there and live.

Though I have lost weight I am still a big girl and doing certain physical activities is still hard for me. The difference is I do not let that stop me anymore! I have gone on many hikes and have always enjoyed them and felt a sense of accomplishment when I finished but nothing like the time I went to Lost Cougar Canyon! That is what I named the place where my story takes place. 

We set off early in the morning for a “day” hike into this canyon to go look for petroglyphs and to get out and have some fun! It was a cold winter morning with some snow on the ground and where there was no snow there was mud (oh joy). We started our decent into the canyon and not soon after that I was in disbelief. I could NOT believe that Kevin would bring me to this place on such a hard hike! It was so difficult and I was not a happy camper. I’m pretty sure I was complaining lol. Kevin is not the most patient man but when he takes me out on our little adventures he is awesome and always takes care to make sure I don’t get hurt. All the way down into the canyon I had to be very careful because it was steep and wet! It was apparent that I was not enjoying myself at all. Kevin was great as usual, trying to get me in a better mood and trying to get me to laugh. He wasn’t that successful and I could tell he was trying not to get annoyed with me. Well how was I to laugh and get in a better mood when the whole time, in my head, I was cussing him out and was in disbelief that he actually brought me out here.

Finally we got to the bottom of the canyon, without injury I might add. We started walking to look for the petroglyphs. By this time I was tired. It took a couple of hours to get down. Let me clarify, it took ME that long to get down. If Kevin would have been alone or with someone in better physical shape it would not have taken that long. Kevin could have run down the canyon walls, bastard! lol. Okay, so we start walking and he assures me that it isn’t that far and we should be getting very close. After hours of walking, guess what? No petroglyphs! I am tired and grumpy as you wouldn’t believe. We come to this part in the canyon where it is REALLY muddy (we all know how much I hate walking in mud) and precarious but I had no choice but to cross and just take care that I don’t fall face first in the mud. Well instead of falling face first I fall flat on my butt! This was the second time I feel in the mud that day, once while coming the side of the canyon. I just lost it. I started to cry and I scared poor Kevin. he thought I had hurt myself. He was a little mad and very annoyed when he found out I was not indeed hurt. You have to understand that all day (hours and hours) I was a big bitch and he finally had enough as well. I picked myself up out of the mud and continued on. I was wet and cold and I had mud all over me. Still not a happy camper lol. 

We were walking for a little while when Kevin was his normal sweet self and tried to make me feel better. This time I was a little more receptive to his efforts. It was starting to get dark and he could tell that I was just exhausted, which explains the crying fit earlier. He told me that if I wanted to stop and take a little nap he would be more than willing to do so. I just looked at him like he was my hero (which he is) and adoration and said “really?” and of course he was serious and wanted me to feel better. I told him right then and there that I was ready for a nap! He found me the perfect spot to lay down. It is freezing outside so he laid out these little foam like pads that we carry so we have something to sit on. They were not big enough for my entire length so he also put his backpack and mine under me so I would be as comfortable as possible. He also covered me with his jacket. Even though I was cold I feel right to sleep. I was that exhausted. Kevin stood there watching over me, doing squats and a number of exercises just to stay warm. I finally woke up after a good 45 minutes or hour and was ready to roll! I woke up in such a great mood and full of energy. We continued to walk and I felt like I was on top of the world! I love hanging out and having adventures with my honey. So by this time it was totally dark outside, all we had was the light of the moon. We of course had headlamps, because we always go prepared. We put the headlamps on and continued with the hike. If I remember correctly our intention was to get out of the canyon and go home. 

As we were walking it started to rain! Kevin decided that we need to find a spot to hang out and get out of the rain. Kevin found this huge boulder with an overhang for us to hang out in. He got me settled quickly and started collecting wood for a fire so we could keep warm, he got a fire going in no time. As he went off to collect more wood before it got all drenched I kept the fire going. Thank God Kevin always bring a survival kit along or we would have been screwed. We did not plan on being out in the canyon that long and thought we would have been home way before then. We decided to spend the night out there even though we did not have any camping equipment or sleeping bags. We had the fire and it was quite cozy. I was loving it! I was having the time of my life lol. Kevin couldn’t believe that I wasn’t upset and mad as hell. I told him that I was having the time of my life and was enjoying our adventure. So we cuddled underneath the boulder and kept the fire going until morning. We slept fitfully throughout the night and woke in the morning to see cougar tracks all around us. How exciting is that?! We got up and started heading out of the canyon and saw even more big cat tracks. I was still loving our adventure and was ready to face the hike ahead of me. As we were walking we came across the elusive petroglyphs. Guess what? They were way in the beginning of our hike the day before! I don’t know how Kevin missed it but he did. We hiked up the side of the canyon to go see the rock art and was glad that we did. You could tell it was a special place. We hung out there for a while and ate some of the survival food that Kevin had with him. The petroglyphs were in a very shallow cave like setting, with this huge flat(ish) rock that was great for laying on to soak up the sun that was finally out. After we hung out at the site we hiked back down the cliff side to continue on our way out.

When we reached this one spot, Kevin turns around and asked me if I wanted to take the long cut of the short really hard cut. I said lets go for the short one! We started climbing up the side of the canyon wall and let me tell you that was a challenge! It was very difficult, once we would get to the top of one cliff there would be another and another. It was very deceiving looking at the way out from the bottom of the canyon. I really did not think it would be so hard or take so long to get out. We scaled about 5 steep cliff walls before we reached the top to get to the truck. I never lost my adventuresome and high on life spirit! When I got to the top and realized that I had made it all the way I felt SO wonderful! I had a huge smile on my face and gave Kevin a big hug and kiss! He told me that he knew all along that I could do it and that he was really proud of me. Even though I felt like I was on top of the world I told Kevin that I was not ready to do Lost Cougar Canyon anytime soon lol. He questioned the fact that I called our hike and the area “Lost Cougar Canyon”. I told him because we got lost and there were a bunch of cougar tracks all around us that this is how I would refer to this adventure from now on. 

Just because I’m overweight doesn’t mean I can’t challenge myself and push myself to the limit. I am so grateful that I have such a great man who believes in me and never gives up on me. Him taking me out in the wilderness and on these great adventures makes me believe in myself and makes me feel great that I am able to do such activities without the “perfect” body.